As one who's been a cowhand

since the wildcats learned to spit,

I've made some resolutions

for the comin' year, to wit:

Resolved, to ride a shorter day

and sleep a longer night;

To never come to breakfast

till the sun is shinin' bright;

To draw a top-hands wages

when they're due or quit the job

And hunt a wealthy widow

or an easy bank to rob.

Resolved, to quit the wagon

when the chuck ain't up to snuff,

To feed no more on bullet beans

nor chaw on beef that's tough.

Resolved, to straddle

nothin' in the line of saddle mount

That ain't plumb easy-gaited,

gentle broke, and some account.

Resolved, that when it blizzards

and there's stock out in the storm,

To let the owner worry

while I stay in where it's warm.

Resolved, that when it comes

my turn next spring to ride the bogs,

I'll don the bib and tucker

of my town and Sunday togs,

And tell the boss, by gravies,

if he craves to shed some blood,

Just try to make me smear 'em

tailin' moo-cows from the mud.

Resolved, that when a thunderhead

comes rollin' up the sky,

I'll lope in off my circle

to the bunkhouse where it's dry.

Resolved, to do such ropin'

as a ropin' cowhand must,

But never when the air ain't free

from cattle-trompled dust.

Resolved to show no hosses,

and resolved, to swim no cricks;

Resolved, no dead-cow skinnin',

and resolved, no fence to fix.

Resolved, to swing no pitchfork,

no pick, no ax, no spade;

Resolved to wear my whiskers --

if I want to -- in a braid!

Resolved, to take this New Year

plenty easy through-and-through,

Instead of sweatin' heavy like

I've always used to do.

As one who's been a cowhand

since before who laid the chunk,

It may sound like I'm loco,

or it may sound like I'm drunk

To make such resolutions

as you see upon my list,

And others purt near like 'em

that my mem'ry may have missed;

But gosh, they sound so pleasant

to a son of saddle sweat!

And New Year's resolutions --

well, I never kept one yet!

So why make resolutions

that bring furrows to your brow?

Let's make 'em free and fancy --

'cause we'll bust 'em anyhow!

By: Brudawg Lowder